Should she continue studying medicine or get married and study?

I am a university student and have just started studying in the Faculty of Medicine. I have got engaged to a young man who is of good character and religiously-committed, and I agreed to that. My problem is that I am confused as to whether I should complete my studies and delay the idea of getting married, but he wants to get married quickly and he has promised to let me complete my studies. Is it better to get married soon or to delay it? If I get married can I combine study and marriage?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

The basic principle is that it is mustahabb to hasten to get married for the one who is able for that, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it helps him to lower his gaze and protect his chastity. And whoever cannot do that, let him fast, for it will be a protection for him.”. Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5065) and Muslim (1400). 

This is especially important in these times when temptations are widespread. 

Moreover, as you have just started studying, this means that this waiting period will be very long, and this is not in the interests of young men or young women in general, and it is not in the interests of the engaged couple in particular. Whoever is able to get married at the age of twenty, there is no benefit in delaying it until he is twenty five, and so on. Moreover, having a lengthy engagement is not something good, because the couple will be in a state of suspension, as it were, even if we assume that there are no haraam things involved such as mixing or being alone together, etc. 

It should be noted that the one who fears that he may fall into haraam is obliged to get married, and it takes precedence over studying in the case of a conflict. No differentiation is made between men and women in that regard, if they can afford it. 

Secondly: 

There is nothing wrong with completing one’s studies after marriage, but is it possible to combine studies and household duties? This varies from one person to another, according to their abilities and circumstances. It also varies according to the type of study, and whether there are children or not. It seems that there are some people who can do it and some who cannot. 

We advise you to pray istikhaarah and consult people before taking this decision, and we ask Allaah to guide you to all that is good. 

And Allaah knows best.

His father does not agree to him marrying a girl who is two years older than him

I got to know a young man who is religiously committed and of good character on a course four years ago, but his father refuses to let us get married because I am two years older than him. I want to know what the Islamic view is on that, and what we can do.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

There is nothing wrong with a man marrying someone who is two years older than him or more, if she is religiously committed and of good character. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married Khadeejah bint Khuwaylid (may Allaah be pleased with her) and she was older than him. 

But the father’s opinion should be borne in mind when choosing a wife for his son, because of his right to be respected and honoured, and because of his experience which the son does not have. But the father’s agreement is not an essential condition of the marriage being valid, unlike the woman whose marriage is dependent on her guardian’s approval. 

Secondly: 

The son should try to convince his father and explain to him how keen he is to marry you. If the father responds, then praise be to Allaah, but if he insists on his attitude, then the son is caught between a rock and a hard place: 

1 – He can give up his own wishes and do what his father wants. This is better for him in most cases, unless the father’s nature indicates that he will never agree to anything for his son except that which he chooses himself, which is not in accordance with the son’s wishes, such as if he chooses someone from within the family or tribe who is not suited to the son, or it seems that his objection is based on the woman’s religious commitment and upright character. In that case the son will have no choice but to go against him, because if he does not go against him today, he will do so tomorrow. 

2 – Or he can do what he wants and go against his father’s wishes – assuming that he can afford to get married by himself. But this should not be done, because it is going against the father and making him angry, and there is the possibility of family ties being severed and enmity being created, which would be harmful for the son and his children, and for you too. The wise woman should not agree to such a marriage, except in cases such as we have mentioned above, which is where the father’s way of choosing a wife for his son usually goes against the son’s wishes and there is no option but to go against him, because some fathers have their own tastes or opinions that do not suit their sons. We advise fathers to allow their sons the freedom to choose, because marriage is a lifelong commitment and a person has the right to choose the person with whom he will share his life. The father’s role is offer advice and guidance, not to force any choice, so long as the son will choose someone suitable. 

The son should try hard to convince his father. We ask Allaah to help you to do all that is good. 

And Allaah knows best.

She is going to get married and live with her husband’s family, and she is asking for advice

What advice can you offer a religiously-committed young woman who is about to get married to a man who is not religiously committed, except that he prays, but he does not always go to the mosque, but his reputation is good? She is going to live in her husband’s house with his family, his mother and siblings. This girl had no choice but to agree to this marriage because she is getting older and no religiously-committed young man has proposed marriage to her, who could help her to adhere to her religion. I hope that you can offer her some advice that will help her to remain steadfast in adhering to her religion in these difficult new circumstances, and that you will pray for her to remain steadfast and that she will be able to influence others and not be influenced by them.

Praise be to Allaah.

We advise this young woman to fear Allaah and remain obedient to Him and strive to please Him, and to help her husband to do good and become righteous. This is something that is possible, praise be to Allaah, but it needs wisdom and patience, and doing the things that lead to love and affection. 

She should make sure that the home is suitable for her, so that she will not be mixing with her husband’s brothers and relatives who are not her mahrams. The wife has the right to separate accommodation in which she can be at ease with her husband and she should not be forced to live with her husband’s parents or family. 

If she thinks that the house is suitable for her, then she should pray istikhaarah and ask Allaah for guidance, then she should go ahead and get married, and Allaah will decree good for her wherever it may be. 

We also advise her to strive to acquire knowledge and teach it, and to spread and revive the Sunnah, and to be the best person who comes to this house. She should remind them to pray and encourage them to do righteous deeds. She should bring them useful tapes and books, and be an example to them in her deeds and attitude. She should always ask Allaah for help, pay attention to her faith and commitment, take stock of herself, and look at her own deeds from time to time. She should know that people influence one another and that if a person does not influence others he will be influenced, so she should hasten to do good. 

We ask Allaah to help her and bless her with a righteous husband and good offspring. 

For information on istikhaarah prayer please see question no. 2217. 

And Allaah knows best.

He forged a paper saying that he was single so that he could take a second wife

A Relative of mine married a married man. He did not tell his family about the second marriage. He married the first woman just for his father’s sake. 
The problem: this man married my relative according to the Islamic law but he brought a false paper proves he is a single so that he can marry my relative for the following reasons:
1- The new law in our country does not allow the man to marry another woman without the approval of the first wife.
2- He does not want to divorce his first wife; as he has not enough money for divorce.  He has a son from the first wife. He travelled abroad to improve his financial situation and to solve his problems as he says he does not want to live anymore with the first wife. At the same time he does not mind her staying at his father’s home for his son’s sake, but he will have no marital relationship with her. He leaves the choice up to her; he does not want to dismiss her from his father’s home. He also did not tell his family about the second marriage to avoid any problems with his father.  
The question:
1- Is this marriage valid islamically, yet the paper that proved he is single was false?
2-Are we -the family of the second wife- sinful for encouraging him to marry in this way using this fraudulently?  
We have encouraged him because -unfortunately- our daughter was in an illegal relationship with him before he married his first wife. We feared this illegal relationship continues, so we asked him to marry her even by deceiving the law.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

It is unfortunate that states that are supposedly Muslim are fighting Islam and putting pressure on Muslims with regard to their rituals and obedience to their Lord. At the time when these states are opening the door wide to corruption, immorality and promiscuity, we find that they are putting severe pressure on those who want to engage in plural marriage which Allaah has permitted. Some of theses states ban it altogether, and some stipulate that the first wife should give consent – and what wife would agree if it were suggested to her? – and some of them stipulate an income that many cannot attain even though they can afford to take another wife. 

These states should fear their Lord and avoid going against the laws of Allaah. It is not permissible for any scholar or judge to accept this legislation. If there is some misconduct and wrongdoing on the part of some of those who have more than one wife, you will also find much more misconduct and wrongdoing on the part of some of those who have only one wife, so will this lead them to ban marriage to the first wife too? 

It is strange that these laws allow that which is haraam and do not regard it as a crime or an evil, but they forbid that which is halaal and regard it as a crime. This man whom you asked about, even though he had an illicit relationship with this woman before he married her, if news of that relationship had reached the authorities they would have permitted it so long as it was with mutual consent and the woman was of sound mind!! But if he takes her as a wife this is what they regard as forbidden and wrong, and they say: It is permissible for you to take her as a girlfriend but it is not permissible for you to take her as a wife! How bad is their judgement. 

In the face of these false laws that wage war against the laws of Allaah, there is no sin on the Muslim if he uses tricks to get around them. 

If a man wants to take a second wife and he produces a forged paper in order to do the marriage contract, there is no sin on him, because the law that is preventing him from taking a second wife is a false law, and the Muslim is not obliged to obey it or submit to it. But the husband should examine the effects that are likely to result from this action, because it may lead to many bad or harmful effects. 

There is also no sin on the family of the second wife who knew of this forged paper and gave their daughter to him in marriage; undoubtedly this is better for them and their daughter and her husband than remaining in an illicit relationship. 

Secondly: 

The father should not force his son into a marriage with a woman whom he does not want, and the son should not obey him in that case, because in this case there will never be any love, compassion and kindness between the spouses, rather the husband may mistreat his wife because he dislikes her, and such marriages often end in failure and the spouses go through a lot of problems and the children suffer a great deal as a result.  

Nevertheless, the woman has done nothing wrong for which she deserves to be mistreated because he was forced to marry her. If he wants to please his father then he should treat his wife kindly and give her her rights, and accept her as a wife who has full rights to be treated kindly. If that does not happen and he is not able to keep her in a proper manner, then he should let her go in kindness by divorcing her and giving her her rights in full, with no shortfall. 

If the woman wants to stay married to him and be maintained by him, and to have him care for her child without any intimacy between them, then it is permissible for her to accept that. The same applies if he suggests that to her and she agrees. 

It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) (concerning the verse) “And if a woman fears cruelty or desertion on her husband’s part, there is no sin on them both if they make terms of peace between themselves; and making peace is better. And human inner-selves are swayed by greed. But if you do good and keep away from evil, verily, Allaah is Ever Well‑Acquainted with what you do” [al-Nisa’ 4:128] that she said: This was revealed concerning a woman who is married to a man, and has been with him for a long time, then he wants to divorce her, and she says: Do not divorce me; keep me and you have no obligation towards me. Then this verse was revealed.

Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2318) and Muslim (3021). 

According to a report narrated by al-Bukhaari (2584) ‘Aa’ishah said: This refers to a man who sees something in his wife that he dislikes because of old age or something else, so he wants to leave her, but she says Keep me, and give me whatever you want. She said: There is nothing wrong with that if they both agree. 

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

If a man is no longer interested in his wife and he does not like her any more, or he is unable to give her her rights, then he may divorce her or he may give her the choice: if she wishes she may stay with him and have no right to a share of his time or intimacy or maintenance, or she may have some of that, according to whatever she agrees with him. If she agrees to that then it is binding and she does not have the right to ask for it after agreeing to something.  

This is in accordance with the Sunnah and it is the correct view; no other view is justified. The view of those who say that her rights may be restored and she may recant this whenever she wants is wrong, because this is a deal where one party has given up something in return for something else. Allaah has called it a sulh (amicable settlement), and it is binding, as is any settlement concerning rights and business deals. If she was able to demand her rights after that, this would just delaying the problem without solving it, and this is not a settlement, rather it is a recipe for greater problems, and sharee’ah would not call for that. One of the signs of the hypocrite is that when he makes a promise he breaks it, and when he makes a pledge he betrays it. 

Zaad al-Ma’aad (5/152, 153). 

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said something similar in Majmoo’ Fataawa Ibn Taymiyah (32/270). 

Thirdly: 

You say in your question that he was in an illicit relationship with her. If that means zina, then you should note that the marriage of a zaani or zaaniyah is not valid unless they repent. This has been discussed in the answers to questions no. 11195 and 14381. 

And Allaah knows best.

Can she marry a Muslim whose family is Catholic? Can the children be named after his kaafir people?

Was to know if someone is marrying a Muslim convert, does it matter if his family is Catholic? Also, after getting married, can children take fathers last name which is a non-Muslim name?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

Islam forbids women to marry non-Muslims. This is something on which there is consensus among the scholars, with no difference of opinion on this ruling. 

Al-Qurtubi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

The ummah is unanimously agreed that a mushrik cannot marry a believing woman, because that is, in a sense, a humiliation of Islam. 

Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 3/72. 

See also the answers to questions no. 69752, 6402 and 22468. 

It is permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a Muslim whom Allaah has guided to Islam after he was a kaafir, and it does not matter if his family is Catholic or follows some other religion. It also does not matter if he became Muslim a long time ago or if he entered Islam recently, but what does matter – and is of the utmost importance – is that his Islam is genuine and he is not pretending to be a Muslim so that he can marry a Muslim woman, as there have been cases where men pretended to have entered Islam on the basis of conviction when that was not the case. If this is found out to be the case, then such a person is not to be treated as a Muslim.  

Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

It is essential to understand the Kalimah which is Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah. It is the best of speech and is the basis of Islam. It is the first thing that the Messengers (peace and blessings be upon them) taught to their people and it is the first thing that the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) taught to his people when he said to them: “Say Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah and you will succeed.” Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And We did not send any Messenger before you (O Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم) but We revealed to him (saying): Laa ilaaha illa Ana [none has the right to be worshipped but I (Allaah)], so worship Me (Alone and none else)”

[al-Anbiya’ 21:25]. 

Every Messenger said to his people: “Worship Allaah, you have no other god but Him.” So it is the foundation of Islam, and it is essential for the one who says it to understand what it means. It means that there is none who is rightfully worshipped except Allaah. There are conditions for that, which are: knowledge of what it means, certainty and absence of doubt that it is true, sincerity towards Allaah alone, belief in one’s heart and on one's lips, love for that which it indicates of sincerity towards Allaah, acceptance of that, submission to Him, belief in His Oneness, disavowal of shirk and avoidance of worshipping anything but Him, and belief that such worship is false. These are all conditions of saying Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah. It is said by the believing man and woman whilst rejecting worship of anything other than Allaah, submitting to the truth and accepting it, loving Allaah, affirming His Oneness, being sincere towards Him, and not doubting its true meaning. For some people say it but they do not believe in it, like the hypocrites who say it whilst doubting it or disbelieving in it. 

So it is essential to know, have certain faith, believe in it, be sincere, love, submit, accept and disavow other gods.  

Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn Baaz (3/49, 50). 

For more details on the conditions of bearing witness that there is no god but Allaah, with evidence, please see the answers to questions no. 9104 and 12295. 

Secondly: 

After the Muslim woman marries a Muslim man, their children are to be named after their father, and it is not permissible to do otherwise, even if his family are kaafirs. Many rulings are connected to this attributed, such as kinship, inheritance, and whether marriage is permissible or not, and so on. Hence it is not permissible to name a Muslim child after anyone but his father and family. There are texts which speak in strong terms about this issue and state that the one who goes against that is committing a major sin. 

It was narrated that Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqaas and Abu Bakrah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever claims after having become Muslim to belong to someone who is not his father, knowing that he is not his father, Paradise will be forbidden to him.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (4072) and Muslim (63). 

And it was narrated from Abu Dharr (may Allaah be pleased with him) that he heard the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “Any man who knowingly attributes himself to someone other than his father has committed an act of kufr. Whoever claims to belong to a people to whom he does not belong, let him take his place in Hell.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (3317) and Muslim (61).  

Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

This hadeeth shows that it is haraam to deny a parentage that is known and to claim to belong to someone else. 

Fath al-Baari (10/308). 

It is not known that anyone among the Prophets, Sahaabah, Taabi’een or scholars changed their names because of their fathers or grandfathers being kaafirs. No wise man would do that, because of the evil that results from that. 

Anyone who studies the books of biography will find foreign names of fathers and grandfathers for many of the Muslim scholars, when Allaah blessed the sons with guidance to Islam whilst their families remained kaafirs. These scholars did not change their names even though the names were foreign and their people followed kaafir religions. 

When Islam forbade adoption, it also forbade changing the name of the adoptee’s father and tribe. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Call them (adopted sons) by (the names of) their fathers, that is more just with Allaah”

[al-Ahzab 33:5]. 

In a case where the father is not known because the child is a foundling – for example – he should not be attributed to or named after any specific person, rather he should be called as a brother or mawla (freed slave), because Allah says at the end of the verse quoted above:  

“But if you know not their father’s (names, call them) your brothers in Faith and Mawaaleekum (your freed slaves)”

[al-Ahzab 33:5]. 

One of the reprehensible matters in which some Muslims follow the kuffaar is giving the wife her husband’s name. This is haraam. Rather she should keep her father’s name. 

We have discussed the ruling on the wife using a name other than her father’s in the answer to questions no. 2537, 1942, 4362 and 6241. 

Conclusion: 

It is permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a Muslim who has recently converted out of conviction and sincere belief. And it does not matter if his family follow any kaafir religion. The children should be named after their Muslim father and his forebears even if they are kaafirs, and it is not permissible to do otherwise. 

And Allaah knows best.

Does she have to obey her husband’s mother?

his parents are constantly interfering with our lives. His mother specifically and his sister. He is a grown man and he has no independence , not even a slight bit. Please tell me what rights does his mother or sister have over me? She told me she has more right over me now and my parents have none. And I need to take her permission to something or go somewhere. I know I need to take my husbands permission and I do that. But I dont think she has a right to tell me how I should run my household. Please clarify this issue for me?

Praise be to Allaah.  

With regard to the rights of your husband’s mother and sisters, they have the right to be treated kindly, you should keep in touch with them and treat them kindly as much as possible. 

But with regard to your mother-in-law’s claims that you have to seek her approval in all matters, this is not correct, and none of the scholars has said that this is one of the rights that a husband has over his wife. Rather your duties are those which have been mentioned (by the scholars), namely obeying your husband and seeking his approval, so long as he does not tell you to commit a sin. That does not mean that you should not benefit from your mother-in-law’s experience or her advice if it is useful. And if you are patient in putting up with some of her difficult behaviour in order to honour your husband, that is a good deed for which you will be rewarded in sha Allaah. But as for her saying that your family have no rights over you, this is not correct, rather they still have the rights of upholding ties with them, honouring them, treating them kindly and visiting them from time to time, especially your parents. Their rights come after your husband’s rights over you. 

We ask Allaah to open your hearts to one another and to grant you wisdom.

Shar’i procedures when a wife rebels

What should a husband do if his wife rebels against him?

Praise be to Allaah.

Ibn Qudaamah said: If a man fears rebellious behaviour on the part of his wife, because she shows signs of rebellion by not responding to his requests for intimacy, or she responds but does so reluctantly, then he should warn her and advise her to fear Allaah; he should remind her of what Allaah has enjoined upon her of duties and obedience, the sin involved in what she is doing and the rights of spending and clothing that she will lose, and the fact that he is permitted to hit her and forsake her in bed, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first)”[al-Nisaa’ 4:34] 

If she persists and shows signs of rebellion and refuses to share his bed, then he may forsake her in bed as much as he wishes, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“(next) refuse to share their beds”[al-Nisaa’ 4:34] 

If she still persists, then he may hit her in a manner that does not cause harm, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“(and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful)”

[al-Nisaa’ 4:34] 

The phrase (interpretation of the meaning): 

“If you fear a breach between them twain (the man and his wife)”

[al-Nisaa’ 4:35] 

means, if it is known to have reached this stage, then the judge should send an arbitrator from his family and an arbitrator from hers, both of whom should be trustworthy, to decide either to reconcile and keep them together or to separate and divorce, and whatever they do will be binding upon them. That means that if the spouses reach the point of separation or enmity, the judge should appoint two free, Muslim arbitrators of good character, preferably from their families, with their approval and appointed by them, so that they can investigate the case and do what they think is best to reconcile them or to let them divorce by talaaq or khula’. Then whatever they do will be binding upon them. The basis for this is the aayah (interpretation of the meaning] 

“If you fear a breach between them twain (the man and his wife), appoint (two) arbitrators, one from his family and the other from hers; if they both wish for peace, Allaah will cause their reconciliation”

[al-Nisaa’ 4:35]

Ruling on having one’s tubes tied

I am expecting my fourth child.  I have high-risk pregnancies, according to doctors, due to physical problems.   Also, each time I have to deliver by caesarian-section, so this will be my fourth caesarian, Inshallah.   I have been advised by doctors and family members to get my tubes tied during the coming caesarian operation, so as to avoid getting pregnant again. My husband has no objection, as long as is allowed in Islam to take this step due to health risk.I feel the same way. Please, guide me because soon I have to make a decision.

Praise be to Allaah.  

Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked a similar question, and he answered: 

There is nothing wrong with the operation mentioned, if the doctors have stated that getting pregnant would cause her harm, so long as her husband has given permission for that. And Allaah knows best

Is it obligatory for a wife to cook food for her husband?

Is it compulsory (Fard)for a wife to cook food for her husband? If she doesn't will it be a sin?

Praise be to Allaah.  

Shaykh Ibn Jibreen said: the custom of the Muslims has always been that the wife should serve her husband in the customary manner, by preparing food, washing his clothes and vessels, cleaning the house, etc., according to what is appropriate. This was the custom at the time of the Prophet and has remained so until the present day, and no one has objected to it. But the wife should not be burdened in a manner that causes her hardship or difficulty, rather it should be in accordance with her ability and what is customary. And Allaah is the Source of strength. 

See Question no. 10680.

Prevention of pregnancy using the coil

Is it permissible to use the coil (IUD or intrauterine device) to prevent pregnancy?

Praise be to Allaah.

Using the coil is permissible subject to two conditions:

The first condition is that it should not cause harm to the woman.

The second condition is that her husband should give his permission for that.

We would like to remind women that a woman should not do things to prevent pregnancy, because this goes against the aims of sharee’ah. It is better for her to remain as Allaah created her, bearing lots of children, because having lots of children serves a great purpose and does not harm a person in his provision, in raising them or in health.

But if a woman is physically weak and is very sick, such that having a child every year would harm her, in this case she is excused if she takes something to prevent pregnancy. But she has to have her husband’s permission to use that which will prevent pregnancy, and using it should not cause any harm.

Hence it is prescribed in Islam for a man to marry a woman who is loving and fertile, i.e., she should be one of the women who are known to have many children, so that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) may feel proud of the great numbers of his ummah, and the numbers of Muslims may be increased thereby.

Summarized from a fatwa of Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen. See Fataawa Manaar al-Islam, vol. 3, p. 784

Does a husband have to be patient with his wife all the time and not divorce her?

We know that the wife of Nuh (as), and the wife of Lut (as) went to jahannam, may Allah protect us from his displeasure, amin.  Is this evidence that brothers should patient with their wives all the time, and not divorce them? I have heard that the Messenger of Allah, (pbuh), divorced women. What is the difference between keeping a woman with bad behavior and counseling her, and getting rid of a woman with bad behavior?

Praise be to Allaah. 

Undoubtedly the wives of Nooh and Loot (peace be upon them) will enter Hell with those who will enter it, but they did not commit any obvious sin that would imply kufr, otherwise it would not have been permissible for these Prophets to have remained married to kaafir women, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“… Likewise hold not the disbelieving women as wives” [al-Mumtahanah 60:10] 

Perhaps the wife of Nooh was concealing kufr, or perhaps, despite the fact that Nooh had been calling people to Allaah for so long, she was influenced by the call of her people when she saw that all of her people were following kufr, so she became doubtful and wondered how he alone could be a believer when all of these people were disbelievers, and they formed the majority of their nation. So her kufr may have been secret. The same applies to the wife of Loot, of whom they said that her only sin was that she told her people about his guests, i.e., she called them to come and commit obscene actions with them. This was her sin, but it is possible that she was also a kaafir in secret. Hence Allaah said (interpretation of the meaning):

“… except his wife, she will be of those who remain behind” [al-‘Ankaboot 29:32] 

This is a summary of the response given by Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Jibreen, may Allaah preserve him. 

It is permissible for a husband to divorce his wife so long as there is a shar’i reason for doing so, such as a lack of religious commitment, a bad attitude, lack of chastity, negligence, etc., even if she is not a kaafir. But if she is a righteous believer, let him keep her, even if he dislikes some of her characteristics, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said. It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Let not a believing man hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her attributes, he will be pleased with another.” (Narrated by Muslim from Abu Hurayrah, 1469). 

When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) wanted to divorce Hafsah, Allaah revealed to him: Go back to Hafsah, for she fasts a lot and prays a lot at night, and she will be your wife in Paradise. Al-Mundhiri said: this was narrated by al-Nasaa’i and Ibn Maajah. ‘Awn al-Ma’bood Sharh Sunan Abi Dawood, hadeeth no. 2283. 

The husband has to strive to reform his wife and pray to Allaah to reform her. Allaah will reform a wife in whom there is some crookedness, if He wills, as He said concerning His slave Zakariya (interpretation of the meaning):

“… and [We] cured his wife for him…” [al-Anbiya’ 21:90]

 Some of the mufassireen (commentators) said that she used to have a sharp tongue, i.e., her speech towards her husband was offensive, so Allaah reformed her.

 A man may put up with the difficulty of keeping his wife in order to ward off a greater difficulty, which is that of separating the children and dividing the family. But if the harm caused by staying with one’s wife is greater than the harm caused by separating from her, there is nothing wrong with him divorcing her. And Allaah is the Source of strength.

She is divorced – should she go back to her family’s country?

I'm a working mother in the USA. I just got divorce but I'm confused my husband is threatening me if I decide to go back home to my family he can take my son a way because they are both American citizen ,but not me. My question to you Am I upsetting Allah for sitting her without a Muhram & what can I do? It's hard to any of my family member to come to the USA.

Praise be to Allaah. 

We put this question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen, may Allaah preserve him, who answered as follows:

 There is nothing wrong with her staying, if she is sure that she will be safe (from falling into sin), because this is her country now and she is living there. She is not a traveller now. Perhaps she will find a new husband soon and get married. And Allaah knows best.

Can she ask for divorce because he is beating her?

CAN A WIFE OF A FEW MONTHS, AND PREGNANT DIVORCE HER HUSBAND DUE TO THE FACT THAT HE DOESN'T SUPPORT HER IN THE CUSTOM SHE IS USED TO, BEATS HER UP, DOESN'T RESPECT HER, AND REFUSES FOR HER TO GO TO THE MOSQUE TO PRAY, ALL THIS BECAUSE SHE REFUSES TO GIVE PERMISSION FOR HIM TO MARRY AN AMERICAN WOMAN WHO ONLY BECAME MUSLIM RECENTLY AFTER HE WAS MARRIED TO THIS TURKISH WOMAN.  HE IS ALSO AN AMERICAN, HE AND THIS OTHER WOMAN HAVE A CHILD OUT OF WEDLOCK.

Praise be to Allaah. 

A woman has the right to ask for divorce when her husband mistreats her in a way that she cannot stand and cannot bear with patience, or if he falls short in his obligatory spending on her, or if he is someone who indulges in these evil actions – if she thinks that leaving him is in her best interests and will protect her commitment to Islam and her chastity.

Is premature ejaculation grounds for divorce?

Is ejaculation praecox (early ejaculation) a reason for the wife to brake the marriage?
I know that impotence is a reason for that, but if someone comes afte 10 or 20 seconds, how it is in this case.

Praise be to Allaah.

We put this question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen, who replied that if this is upsetting the wife and causing her to miss out on her own pleasure, then there is nothing wrong with her asking for a divorce, but if she has children she should not be too hasty. And Allaah knows best.

Its the responsibility of every Moslem in learning quran and tajweed and we also have to teach our kids Quran and not only the Quran teaching we should let then be aware of the basic of Islam and why it was reviled you bet it was vilified and verity teaching of holy Quran and with tajweed quran we read Quran we can understand better all the replies that are postulated if we study koran from a qualified Quran tutor he will let you know verity center of Islam and why koran was reviled for it we should gain the information of the Book with there translation and the context of when those verses were reviled and why and that is only potential when we keep with not simply learning quran for beginners but gaining the information of Quran tafseer and one query that we all is required to ask our self that why we all are here in the world to do good acts or to do bad human activity to promote correct or to promote incorrect and will we be answerable to any one after this life of not then the query remains the very same that reasons why we are here in the world but if yes then whom we have to respond is there any Almighty All these reply can be found when we go deep in to the Quran education do Quran reading and the so let us link up hands to full fill our responsibility. We all must do quran memorization and listen to quran online when ever we have time to stay in touch

Is it better for a man to divorce his second wife with whom he quarrels, so that she can have some peace?

Is it allowable for a husband to divorce his (second) wife without her doing anything wrong?  This man found out that he does not have much in common with his wife, often fights with her and dislikes things about her through no fault of hers.  Would it not be better to let her free to marry someone who would love her and cherish her than to keep her in a much-less-than ideal situation?

Praise be to Allaah.

The man has to treat both of his wives fairly, and to fear Allaah with regard to them. The woman should resist her jealousy and strive to control herself (jihad al-nafs) and not cause trouble to her husband because he has another wife. 

“The basic principle concerning divorce is that it is makrooh (disliked), and if we say that the basic principle is that it is forbidden, this is not far-fetched. This is indicated by the words of Allaah concerning those who take an oath not to have sexual relations with their wives. He said (interpretation of the meaning): 

‘… then if they return (change their idea in this period), verily, Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

And if they decide upon divorce, then Allaah is All-Hearer, All-Knower’

[al-Baqarah 2:226-227] 

The aayah ends with these two names, ‘All-Hearer, All-Knower’, if they decide upon divorce, to indicate that Allaah does not like that, because in the case of one who returns or comes back to his wife after swearing not to have intercourse with her, it says that ‘Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.’ 

This makes it clear that Allaah likes the one who has sworn such an oath to go back (to his wife). In the case of one who has decided to divorce his wife, the use of the words ‘All-Hearer, All-Knower’ indicates that Allaah dislikes that. It was narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘The most hated of permissible things to Allaah is divorce.’ This hadeeth is not saheeh, but its meaning is saheeh. Allaah dislikes divorce, but He does not forbid it to His slaves, to make things easier for them. If there is a valid reason for divorce, in sharee’ah or otherwise, then that is permissible. Whether there is a valid reason depends on whether the woman’s remaining married will lead to some shar’i reservation that can only be alleviated by divorce, then he may divorce her, such as when the woman is lacking in religious commitment or chastity, and he is unable to reform her. In such cases, we say that it is better for him to divorce her. But if there is no such valid reason, whether shar’i or otherwise, then we say that it is better not to divorce her; indeed in such a case divorce would be makrooh.”

 (As’ilat al-Baab al-Maftooh by Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, p. 113)

 With regard to the woman mentioned in the question, if she is able to live with her husband in a good manner, and if each of them can put up with the other at times of short-lived anger, then this will be better for her, for him, for their children and for the family of each partner. If a good life cannot continue between them for some reason on the part of one or both of them, and it appears that separation is better for her or for him or for both of them, then Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

 “But if they separate (by divorce), Allaah will provide abundance for everyone of them from His Bounty”

[al-Nisaa’ 4:130] 

Allaah may provide her with a husband better than him, who will be more righteous and treat her more kindly. May Allaah help us all to do that which He loves and which pleases Him.

Its the responsibility of every Moslem in learning quran and read tajweed and we also have to teach our kids Quran and not only the Quran teaching we should let then begin to see the basic of Islam and why it was reviled you bet it was vilified and truth teaching of holy Quran and with tajweed quran we read Quran we can understand better all the responses that are demanded if we study koran from a qualified Quran tutor he will let you know truth center of Islam and why koran was reviled for it we should gain the ability of the Book with there translation and the context of when those verses were reviled and why and that is only potential when we persist in with not simply learning quran for beginners but gaining the information of Quran tafseer and one query that we all is required to ask our self that why we all are here in the world to do good acts or to do bad acts to promote correct or to promote incorrect and will we be answerable to any one after this life of not then the interrogation remains the identical that reasons why we are here in the world but if yes then whom we have to reply is there any Almighty All these reply exist when we go deep in to the Quran education do Quran reading and the so let us unite hands to full fill our task. We all must do quran memorization and listen to quran online when ever we have time to stay in touch

Is it acceptable to marry a girl who has not yet started her menses?

I have not yet reached the age of puberty. Is it correct that a girl could get married before her menses start, or is that just a traditional myth?.

Praise be to Allaah.  

Firstly: 

Marriage to a young girl before she reaches puberty is permissible according to sharee’ah, and it was narrated that there was scholarly consensus on this point. 

1 – Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And those of your women as have passed the age of monthly courses, for them the ‘Iddah (prescribed period), if you have doubt (about their periods), is three months; and for those who have no courses [(i.e. they are still immature) their ‘Iddah (prescribed period) is three months likewise”

[al-Talaaq 65:4] 

In this verse we see that Allaah states that for those who do not menstruate – because they are young and have not yet reached the age of puberty – the ‘iddah in the case of divorce is three months. This clearly indicates that it is permissible for a young girl who has not started her periods to marry. 

Al-Tabari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

The interpretation of the verse “And those of your women as have passed the age of monthly courses, for them the ‘Iddah (prescribed period), if you have doubt (about their periods), is three months; and for those who have no courses [(i.e. they are still immature) their ‘Iddah (prescribed period) is three months likewise”. He said: The same applies to the ‘idaah for girls who do not menstruate because they are too young, if their husbands divorce them after consummating the marriage with them. 

Tafseer al-Tabari, 14/142 

2 – It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married her when she was six years old, and consummated the marriage with her when she was nine, and she stayed with him for nine years. 

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4840; Muslim, 1422. 

Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr said: 

The scholars are unanimously agreed that a father may marry off his young daughter without consulting her. The Messenger of Allaah married ‘Aa’ishah bint Abi Bakr when she was young, six or seven years old, when her father married her to him. 

Al-Istidhkaar, 16/49-50. 

Secondly: 

The fact that it is permissible to marry a minor girl does not imply that it is permissible to have intercourse with her, rather the husband should not have intercourse with her until she becomes able for that. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) delayed consummating the marriage to ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her). 

And Allaah knows best.

In reading a Q/A about marriage, the part of the answer stated to 'announce marriages.'What is the reason behind this statement?.

Praise be to Allaah.  

Announcing marriages is obligatory and the reason for that is: 

1 – The Sunnah enjoins this, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Announce this marriage.” Narrated by Ahmad and classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1072. 

2 – So as to distinguish the valid shar’i marriage that is enjoined by Islam from immorality, because zina is done secretly, whereas legitimate marriage is that which is proclaimed openly, so as to distinguish the one from the other. This is the wisdom behind announcing marriages. 

Paying the girl’s dowry with her brother’s money

Suppose if a parents have Son and Daughter and after long search they found a husband for their daughters but bridegroom is requesting for a dowry but the parents are not affordable to pay them, so they try to get dowry for their son in order to pay for their daughter. Certainly they are not going to use this money except to give dowry for their daughter marriage.  
I like to through some lights and give us proper guidence to handle this situation.

Praise be to Allaah.  

It is very strange indeed that in some countries the dowry is paid by the bride or her family to the groom or his family. This is contrary to the Islamic principle, because the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded a man who was getting married to give a dowry even if it was an iron ring, and when he did not even have that, he made the dowry that he would teach her what he had memorized of the Qur’aan. 

What is important is that in the marriage contract something should be mentioned as the dowry, even if it is little. 

It was narrated that Sahl ibn Sa’d said: A woman came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: “I give myself to you (in marriage).” He paused for a while, then a man said, “Marry her to me, if you have no need of her.” He said, “Do you have anything you can give to her as a dowry?” He said, “I do not have anything but my izaar (lower garment).”  He said, “If you give that to her, you will not have any lower garment. Think of something.” He said, “I cannot think of anything.” He said, “Think of something, even if it is an iron ring.” But he did not have anything. (The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)) said, “Have you memorized anything of the Qur’aan?” He said, “Yes, Soorah such and such, and Soorah such and such” – and he named the soorahs. He said: “We marry her to you on the basis of what you have memorized of the Qur’aan [i.e., that you teach it to her].” 

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4842; Muslim, 1425) 

This hadeeth indicates that the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not agree to the man marrying without a dowry to give to the woman; he did not ask the woman for anything. 

Moreover, the concept of qawaamah (being maintainers and protectors of women) that Allaah has enjoined on men implies that the man is the one who gives the mahr to the woman, because he is her supporter and she is his dependent.  

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means”

[al-Nisa’ 4:34] 

Moreover, the mahr is the woman’s right, because the man enjoys intimate relations with her, and the mahr is paid in return for that intimacy. 

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“…so with those of whom you have enjoyed sexual relations, give them their Mahr as prescribed…”

[al-Nisa’ 4:24] 

Imam Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

The phrase “so with those of whom you have enjoyed sexual relations, give them their Mahr as prescribed” means, as you are going to enjoy intimacy with them, then give them their dowries in return for that, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And how could you take it (back) while you have gone in unto each other”

[al-Nisa’ 4:21] 

“And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart”

[al-Nisa’ 4:4] 

“And it is not lawful for you (men) to take back (from your wives) any of your Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) which you have given them”

[al-Baqarah 2:229] 

Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/475 

It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid. If the marriage has been consummated then the mahr is hers, because she has permitted (the man) to be intimate with her. If (the guardian) refuses to arrange her marriage, then the ruler is the guardian of the one who has no guardian.” 

Abu ‘Eesa al-Tirmidhi said: this is a hasan hadeeth. 

From this we can see that the dowry is to be paid by the man to the woman, not by the woman to the man. 

Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Qa’ood said: “The mahr is the right of the wife, and it must be defined. The wife or her family do not have to pay anything unless they do so voluntarily.” 

Based on this, it is not permissible for you to take from your son’s money and give it as a dowry for your daughter. Shaykh al-Barraak said: 

“If it is not permissible for the son to take the dowry in the first place, it is not permissible to take it for the daughter.”  

If you fear Allaah, Allaah will grant a way out for your daughter. So she has to be patient and seek reward, and turn to Allaah and make du’aa’. If a person thinks of Allaah in positive terms, he will find that Allaah is as he thinks. 

The scholars, prominent figures and the ordinary people in your country have to strive to change this bad custom and follow the Sunnah, and to do the right thing and follow the right way which no one is permitted to go against. That is by establishing proof to the people from the Qur’aan and Sunnah and the words of the scholars. 

And Allaah knows best.

Marrying a second wife when one is not able to take care of two wives

One man (muslim of course) much older than me (20 years)proposed me the merriage but he is not divorced with his first women. He helped me many times in my life and showed me the first steps towards Islam. My father and mother are mulims but they didn't learn me something about praying, fasting or zekat.
That brother is going to have two womens but he is not able to take care about both of them. I asked my cemaat about this problem and some people gave the positive answer some of them don't accept it. I feel respect for that brother but I am not sure that I can live with him. Could you give me the advice, please?.

Praise be to Allaah.  

Allaah has enjoined certain things on a man who wants to marry more than one wife, which he must fulfil before he marries a second wife. One of these things is that he should be able treat them both fairly with regard to spending, staying overnight and providing accommodation. If he knows that he is unable to do that or that it is most likely that he cannot do so, it is not permissible for him to marry more than one wife. 

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice”

[al-Nisa’ 4:3] 

Mujaahid said: do not deliberately try to mistreat any of them, rather adhere to equal treatment with regard to dividing your time and spending, because this is something that a man can do. 

Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 5/407 

Shaykh al-Islam [Ibn Taymiyah] (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: As for fairness with regard to spending and clothing, this is the Sunnah, following the example of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He treated his wives equally with regard to spending just as he did with regard to dividing his time amongst them. 

Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 32/269 

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: [The Prophet] (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to treat them equally with regard to spending the night with them, providing accommodation and spending on them… but it is not obligatory to treat them equally with regard to that – i.e., love and intercourse – because that is something that a man has no control over. 

Zaad al-Ma’aad, 1/151 

Al-Haafiz ibn Hajar said:  If he provides each one of them with sufficient clothing, maintenance and accommodation, it does not matter what he does after that of being more inclined towards one of them or giving gifts to them… 

Al-Fath, 9/391 

This is what Allaah has enjoined upon the one who wants to marry more than one wife. If a man is able to do that, there is nothing wrong with agreeing to marry him. If he is not, then we do not advise marrying him, rather it is not permissible for him to propose marriage in the first place. 

With regard to your saying that he is not able to take care of two wives, if he is religiously-committed and of good character, and you can be patient and put up with some hardships in life, then there is nothing wrong with your agreeing to marry him. Allaah has promised the poor man who wants to get married that He will make him independent of means. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty”

[al-Noor 24:32] 

Some of the salaf used to get married seeking provision, acting in accordance with this verse. But if you think that you will not be able to put up with some hardships in life, then there is nothing wrong with your refusing to marry him. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) advised Faatimah bint Qays, when Mu’aawiyah (may Allaah be pleased with him) proposed to her, not to marry him. He said, “He is a pauper and has no money.” (Narrated by Muslim, 1480). 

We hope that there will be no unlawful relationship between you, either now or after you refuse to marry him. If he has done you some favour by showing you the right path and teaching you, that is no justification for meeting, corresponding, speaking in private and so on. 

And Allaah knows best.

He married a woman without a guardian

I am in a foreign land and married a Christian girl who is also a foreigner in that country. Both of us do not have any relatives or friends or contacts in that country. I proposed to her and she accepted so I read the marriage statements and she accepted and than I read the marriage statement for my acceptance. I forgot the Mehr in statement but later paid some amount to her. There was no guardian for her as she is adult and independent and we could not arrange any witness. Question is:  
1. Whether this is a valid religious marriage and is it not sin in Islam as we do not care for the social or legal aspect because we are foreigners. In other word we married keeping in view our God and do not want to be punished by God on day of judgment. (We lived like man & wife for some days).
2. As I was not sure about religious aspect of this marriage, we mutually decided that I should divorce her, and I did. Is it OK?
3. Do I need to marry her again if our marriage was not OK, in front of witnesses and any Guardian / Wali to relieve myself of any sin.

Praise be to Allaah.  

Firstly: 

It is not permissible for a man to marry a woman without the permission of her guardian, whether she is a virgin or previously-married. This is the view of the majority of scholars, including al-Shaafa’i, Maalik and Ahmad. This is based on evidence which includes the following: 

The verses in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“do not prevent them from marrying their (former) husbands”

[al-Baqarah 2:232] 

“And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they believe (worship Allaah Alone)”

[al-Baqarah 2:221] 

“and marry those among you who are single”

[al-Noor 24:32] 

The point here is that these verses clearly stipulate that there be a guardian in marriage, because Allaah is addressing the guardian with regard to the marriage of the woman under his care. If the matter were up to her and not him, there would be no need to address him. 

It is indicative of Imam al-Bukhaari’s deep understanding of issues of sharee’ah that he quoted these verses in a chapter which he entitled “Baab man qaala la nikaaha illa bi wali (Chapter on those who say that there is no marriage without a guardian).” 

It was narrated that Abu Moosa said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage without a guardian.”

(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1101; Abu Dawood, 2085; Ibn Maajah, 1881. Classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani (may Allaah have mercy on him) in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1/318) 

It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid. But if the marriage is consummated then the mahr is hers because she has allowed him to be intimate with her. If they dispute, then the ruler is the guardian of the one who has no guardian.” 

(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1102; Abu Dawood, 2083; Ibn Maajah, 1879. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 1840) 

Secondly: If her guardian prevents her from marrying the person she wants for no valid reason according to sharee’ah, then the role of guardian passes to the next closest relative, so it passes from the father to the grandfather, for example. 

Thirdly: if all of her guardians prevent her from getting married for no valid reason according to sharee’ah, then the ruler is her guardian, because of the hadeeth quoted above (“…If they dispute, then the ruler is the guardian of the one who has no guardian”) 

Fourthly: if there is no guardian and no ruler, then her marriage is to be arranged by a man who has authority in the place where she is, such as the head of a village, or the governor of a province, and so on. If there is no such person, then she should appoint a trustworthy Muslim man to arrange her marriage. 

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

If there is no relative who can act as her guardian, then the position of guardian passes to the one who is most fit among those who have any kind of authority in matters other than marriage, such as the head of a village, the leader of a caravan, and so on. 

Al-Ikhtiyaaraat, p. 350. 

Ibn Qudaamah said: If a woman does not have a guardian and there is no ruler, then there was narrated from Ahmad that which indicates that her marriage should be arranged by a man of sound character, with her permission. 

Al-Mughni, 9/362. 

Shaykh ‘Umar al-Ashqar said: 

If there is no ruler of the Muslims, or if the woman is in a place where the Muslims have no ruler, and she has no guardian at all, like the Muslims in America and elsewhere, if there are Islamic institutions in that country that take care of the Muslims’ affairs, then they should arrange her marriage. The same applies if the Muslims have a leader who is in charge or someone who is responsible for their affairs.  

Al-Waadih fi Sharh Qanoon al-Ahwaal al-Shakhsiyyah al-Urduni, p. 70 

The marriage contract must be witnessed by two adult male Muslims of sound mind. See question no. 2127.  

Hence you have to repeat your marriage contract, and it is essential that the woman’s guardian be present, as stated above, as well as two witnesses. 

And Allaah knows best.

He is confused about the meaning of this verse

I would like to know the commentary on the following verse (interpretation of the meaning): 
“(Remember) when the angels said: ‘O Maryam (Mary)! Verily, Allaah gives you the glad tidings of a Word [“Be!” — and he was! i.e. ‘Eesa (Jesus) the son of Maryam (Mary)] from Him, his name will be the Messiah ‘Eesa (Jesus), the son of Maryam (Mary), held in honour in this world and in the Hereafter, and will be one of those who are near to Allaah’”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:45].  
Does the phrase “a word from Him” mean a spirit from Him, as the Christians claim?.

Praise be to Allaah.  

May Allaah help us and you to do that which He loves and which pleases Him. The difference between the guidance and true religion that Allaah has revealed in His Book and what the Christians say about the Prophet of Allaah ‘Eesa (Jesus – peace be upon him) is the difference between faith and disbelief (kufr), between Tawheed and shirk, between guidance and misguidance. It is the difference between darkness and light. We ask Allaah to illuminate our hearts with Tawheed and faith in Him alone. 

It should be noted that if a person is confused about the meaning of any ambiguous passage [al-mutashaabuh] in the Book of Allaah, he must understand it in the light of the definitive passages [[al-muhkamaat], which form the majority of this clear Book. That is the source to which reference should be made in order to understand it, know its rulings and learn its lessons. He should not counter one verse with another, or look for contradictions in the revelation, or look for the ambiguous passages which may cause confusion to him or to other people, ignoring the clear and definitive passages. That is the way of the people of innovation and is misguidance, may Allaah keep us and you safe and sound. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“It is He Who has sent down to you (Muhammad) the Book (this Qur’aan). In it are Verses that are entirely clear, they are the foundations of the Book [and those are the Verses of Al-Ahkaam (commandments), Al-Faraa’id (obligatory duties) and Al-Hudood (laws for the punishment of thieves, adulterers)]; and others not entirely clear. So as for those in whose hearts there is a deviation (from the truth) they follow that which is not entirely clear thereof, seeking Al-Fitnah (polytheism and trials), and seeking for its hidden meanings, but none knows its hidden meanings save Allaah. And those who are firmly grounded in knowledge say: “We believe in it; the whole of it (clear and unclear Verses) are from our Lord.” And none receive admonition except men of understanding”

[Aal ‘Imraan 3:7] 

The verse which you quoted does not support the Christian view in any way whatsoever, rather this verse, when taken in context, refutes the Christians and clearly demonstrates their misguidance and their disbelief in the Lord of the Worlds.  

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“This is a part of the news of the Ghayb (Unseen, i.e. the news of the past nations of which you have no knowledge) which We reveal to you (O Muhammad). You were not with them, when they cast lots with their pens as to which of them should be charged with the care of Maryam (Mary); nor were you with them when they disputed.

45. (Remember) when the angels said: ‘O Maryam (Mary)! Verily, Allaah gives you the glad tidings of a Word [“Be!” — and he was! i.e. ‘Eesa (Jesus) the son of Maryam (Mary)] from Him, his name will be the Messiah ‘Eesa (Jesus), the son of Maryam (Mary), held in honour in this world and in the Hereafter, and will be one of those who are near to Allaah.

46. He will speak to the people, in the cradle and in manhood, and he will be one of the righteous.’

47. She said: ‘O my Lord! How shall I have a son when no man has touched me?’ He said: ‘So (it will be) for Allaah creates what He wills. When He has decreed something, He says to it only: “Be!” — and it is.

48. And He (Allaah) will teach him [‘Eesa (Jesus)] the Book and Al-Hikmah (i.e. the Sunnah, the faultless speech of the Prophets, wisdom), (and) the Tawraat (Torah) and the Injeel (Gospel).

49. And will make him [‘Eesa (Jesus)] a Messenger to the Children of Israel (saying): “I have come to you with a sign from your Lord, that I design for you out of clay, a figure like that of a bird, and breathe into it, and it becomes a bird by Allaah’s Leave; and I heal him who was born blind, and the leper, and I bring the dead to life by Allaah’s Leave. And I inform you of what you eat, and what you store in your houses. Surely, therein is a sign for you, if you believe.

50. And I have come confirming that which was before me of the Tawraat (Torah), and to make lawful to you part of what was forbidden to you, and I have come to you with a proof from your Lord. So fear Allaah and obey me.

51. Truly, Allaah is my Lord and your Lord, so worship Him (Alone). This is the Straight Path”

[Aal ‘Imraan 3:44-51] 

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

This demonstrates in several ways that he was a created being and was not as the Christians say.  

For example, it clearly means that he was a created being, as it says, “So (it will be) for Allaah creates what He wills. When He has decreed something, He says to it only: “Be!” —and it is”. As Allaah says elsewhere (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Verily, the likeness of ‘Eesa (Jesus) before Allaah is the likeness of Adam. He created him from dust, then (He) said to him: “Be!” — and he was”[Aal ‘Imraan 3:59] 

And Allaah says in Soorat Maryam (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Such is ‘Eesa (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary). (It is) a statement of truth, about which they doubt (or dispute).

It befits not (the Majesty of) Allaah that He should beget a son [this refers to the slander of Christians against Allaah, by saying that ‘Eesa (Jesus) is the son of Allaah]. Glorified (and Exalted) be He (above all that they associate with Him). When He decrees a thing, He only says to it: “Be!” and it is”

[Maryam 19:35] 

And he said: His name is the Messiah ‘Eesa ibn Maryam (Jesus son of Mary), so Allaah has told us that he is the son of Maryam, and that he is held in honour in this world and in the Hereafter, and will be one of those who are near to Allaah. All of these are attributes of created beings. 

Maryam said: “How shall I have a son…?” This shows that the Messiah, who is the Word, is the son of Maryam, not the son of Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted. 

Allaah says in Soorat al-Nisa’ (interpretation of the meaning): 

“O people of the Scripture (Christians)! Do not exceed the limits in your religion, nor say of Allaah aught but the truth. The Messiah ‘Eesa (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary), was (no more than) a Messenger of Allaah and His Word, (“Be!” — and he was) which He bestowed on Maryam (Mary) and a spirit (Rooh) created by Him; so believe in Allaah and His Messengers. Say not: ‘Three (trinity)!’ Cease! (it is) better for you. For Allaah is (the only) One Ilaah (God), glory is to Him (Far Exalted is He) above having a son. To Him belongs all that is in the heavens and all that is in the earth. And Allaah is All‑Sufficient as a Disposer of affairs.

172. The Messiah will never be proud to reject to be a slave of Allaah, nor the angels who are the near (to Allaah). And whosoever rejects His worship and is proud, then He will gather them all together unto Himself.

173. So, as for those who believed (in the Oneness of Allaah — Islamic Monotheism) and did deeds of righteousness, He will give them their (due) rewards — and more out of His Bounty. But as for those who refused His worship and were proud, He will punish them with a painful torment. And they will not find for themselves besides Allaah any protector or helper”

[al-Nisa’ 4:171-173] 

So Allaah forbids the Christians to exaggerate concerning their religion or to say things about Allaah that are not true, and He states that the Messiah ‘Eesa ibn Maryam is a Messenger of Allaah and His Word which He bestowed upon Maryam, and a spirit created by Him. He commands them to believe in Allaah and His Messengers, and tells them that he (‘Eesa) is His Messenger. He forbids them to say “Three” (i.e., trinity) and says: “Cease! (it is) better for you”. This is a rejection of their doctrine concerning the Messiah which says that “he is a true god from a true god, from the essence of his father.” 

Then He says: “glory is to Him (Far Exalted is He) above having a son” – declaring Himself to be far above having a son as the Christians say. Then He says: “To Him belongs all that is in the heavens and all that is in the earth”, telling us that all of that is His dominion, in which there is nothing of His essence.  

Then He says: “The Messiah will never be proud to reject to be a slave of Allaah, nor the angels who are the near (to Allaah)” i.e., they will never deny that they are slaves of Allaah, may He be blessed and exalted. After such a clear statement, can anyone think that what is meant by “His Word” is that he is a god and creator, or whatever such statements of kufr they make? 

Rather ‘Eesa alone is described as the Word because he was not created in the usual way in which others are created, rather he was created in an extraordinary way: he was created by the command of Allaah: “Be!” This is the Word in question; he was not created by means of a male fertilizing a female, as is the usual way in which Allaah creates human beings. 

The fact that ‘Eesa (peace be upon him) is a Word from Allaah and a spirit created by Him, as is indicated in the texts of the clear Revelation, does not mean that he is part of Allaah who emerged from Him and is connected to His essence: glorified and exalted be Allaah far about what the wrongdoers say. Rather what it means is that he came from Allaah, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And has subjected to you all that is in the heavens and all that is in the earth; it is all as a favour and kindness from Him”

[al-Jaathiyah 45:13] 

“And whatever of blessings and good things you have, it is from Allaah”
[al-Nahl 16:53] 

“Whatever of good reaches you, is from Allaah, but whatever of evil befalls you, is from yourself”

[al-Nisa’ 4:79] 

And Allaah says concerning our Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Those who disbelieve from among the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) and Al‑Mushrikoon, were not going to leave (their disbelief) until there came to them clear evidence.

2. A Messenger (Muhammad) from Allaah, reciting (the Qur’aan) purified pages [purified from Al‑Baatil (falsehood)]”

[al-Bayyinah 98:1-2] 

These are all things that come from Allaah, and they are all created. 

The phrase “a spirit created by Him (or from Him)” is used only of the Messiah because he was breathed into his mother by al-Rooh (Jibreel – peace be upon), and she became pregnant with him from that breath. This is something other than his rooh (soul) that he shares in common with the rest of mankind. He is distinguished from them by the fact that his mother became pregnant with him from this breathing in of the spirit, hence he is called a spirit from Him. See Daqaa’iq al-Tafseer, 1/324 ff. 

Moreover these verses clearly state that Allaah created him, and that Allaah creates whatever He will; nothing is beyond Him in the heavens or on earth. And ‘Eesa himself (peace be upon him) said that the signs and miracles that he brought were from Allaah and happened by His leave, a sign to them of His Oneness. Then the verses conclude with a clear statement of what is meant here, which is the command to worship Allaah, the Lord of ‘Eesa and the Lord of those to whom ‘Eesa was sent. This clearly indicates that what the Christians say about ‘Eesa and his mother is false, and it plainly refutes their kufr and misguidance. 

This verse also tells us that ‘Eesa is a Word from Allaah, and it points to the meaning of that. This is narrated in the Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). Al-Bukhaari (3435) and Muslim (28) narrated from ‘Ubaadah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever bears witness that there is no god except Allaah alone, with no partner or associate, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger, and that ‘Eesa is the slave of Allaah and His Messenger, His Word that He bestowed upon Maryam and a spirit from Him, that Paradise is true and Hell is true, Allaah will admit him to Paradise depending on his deeds.” According to another version: “… that ‘Eesa is the slave of Allaah and the son of His female slave.” 

Al-Qurtubi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: What this hadeeth aims at is to warn against what the Christians fell into of misguidance concerning ‘Eesa and his mother. 

Another scholar said: Mentioning ‘Eesa is a reference to the misguidance to the Christians, because their belief in trinity is pure shirk. The same applies to the use of the word “His slave”. Describing ‘Eesa as “His Messenger” is a reference to the misguidance of the Jews because they deny that He was a Messenger and they slandered him and likewise his mother, saying things of which they were innocent. 

The words “son of His female slave” are intended to honour him.