Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullah wa baraktuh
Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim
It was back in 1995, when I began to seek for the meaning and truth in my life. The days were without any happiness, just filled with stress, and mean less things. I had already the Holy Qur'an in my book shelter, but since I got it as a gift, I hadn't used time reading or even looking inside the book.
I was at a point in my life, which made me harsh and stubborn, and I was indeed in need, for putting my self together, as a complete person. To find your self, and to figure out where to belong, was quite difficult. Our media was at that time beginning talking about Islam, and for me, well I found it interesting.
But somehow, one day, I went and took the book, and began to read. I guess, I sad for hours, not even looking at the clock, I just read and read. Amazing, how time just went, and there were, at no time, any reaction towards stopping. I was surprised by my feelings, because each and every word was making sense to me. I wondered how it could be, that I hadn't discovered so much truth before this particular day. And in the same time, I got a feeling of peace, and being relaxed, more than I ever felt before in my life.
From that day, I began on a daily basis, to read little by little, and to discover things, which I didn't think about, or gave attention before, became so much clearer to me. Sure I believed in God, but in the same time, I didn't reflect on it, with any deeper meaning.
I was born and raised up in a Christian – catholic family, and had a much uncomplicated childhood, living in Denmark. My family was between being religious and non-religious. I was teached both towards Christian and Catholics belief, but was not attached to any of them in main. So when I began to mark the interest for Islam, it changed my viewpoint, to be much more open and clear. I searched for books, and began to read more often, even went to a Mosque, and was invited to come back as much I liked.
I found the Muslims there, to be very friendly, and helpful, and I even got new friends in some of them. I must say, my eyes were open and my mind busy, with the new things, which came towards me. An Imam, in the Mosque, became a very good help, and today, He is a close friend to me. He planted a seed inside me, which began to grow, and made me understand many things, which I stumbled over in my readings. With his books, and talks, I learned so much, and it increased my knowledge about Islam and Muslims.
During a couple of years, I did my study, and knew that I was on the way, into a new period of my life. There was so many reflections, and thoughts going true my mind, and questions to be asked. But each time, I always got the answers, from Qur'an and from my new friends. When the time finally arrived, and I was ready, to pronounce my Shahada, really that was the best day ever in my life.
A few days, before, I got a vision or guidance, so to speak, and still today, I'm pretty convinced that Allah gave me the final push. I was about to go showering, and were making everything ready, as I entered under the water, standing there, suddenly I became a totally blackout. I couldn't see a thing, and had to grab with my hands, for not falling, on the wet floor. I don’t know, for how long I was standing there, but I felt fear, then within a sec, a clear and bright light, came towards me, it was so sharp, and I couldn't look direct into it. I had to see, with half open eyes, and my entire body was shaking. It went on for some time, and everything around me was totally silent, no voices or moves. But I began to feel very relaxed and some kind of peaceful inside, suddenly, as when you push a bottom, the light went off, and all were back to normal.
At least, I felt it was normal, but then without any reason, my mind began to play with me, I kept saying, you must become a Muslim, and then I knew, it was meant for me, to finally take my last step, and become a Muslim.
Later, I had talks, with other new Muslim about what happened, and I realized that I was not alone; many of them had the same visions. Many before me and many in the future will become visions or guidance like I did.
Allah works in many ways, and without Him we are nothing.
My journey went on, and within time I came to meet many different kinds of Muslims. Different viewpoints, and practice, sects, and various kinds of ways, to understand Islam. For quit some years, I was Shia, and worked with dawah and other Islamic things, to teach others and to help the new, coming to Islam, with prayers and much more, I was making fundraising, site's on the net and translating books, even I made Islamic movies and traveled around talking about Islam in public.
My time, as Shia, was doubtful, and for me a time, when I discovered mistakes, and uncorrected teachings of Islam.
Sure, I was, at a time, so very convinced, that being shia was the right way, and the right path. But deep inside, I had the doubt, and kept turning back to my books, when I was following Sunnah of the Prophet, salallahu alaihi wasallam, and the Qur'an. Because deep inside, I felt lost, which was right? In the end, I had to realize, that being Shia was not the correct way, of traveling towards Paradise. So after a long time, of thinking, and waving between the differences, I made the choice, to follow The Sunnah, as being righteous and best way to be a true and sincere Muslim. I know, that for many new coming to Islam, it is difficult, as today so much different information is to find out there. But one should remain towards Qur'an and the Sunnah of the Prophet, salallahu alaihi wa sallam, then nothing can go wrong, and then you are on the right path.
There is a Hadith, which I love too much, it makes so much sense, and make us understand that we are not alone, at no time in our life. This hadith is taken from Sahid Muslim, and it says this;
"Worship Allah as if you see Him and if you don’t see Him, know that He sees you"
To try and explain, this text, well, when anyone reads it, the truth is already understood inside the mind.
Coming back towards the light, is a journey, which took part over several years, and a lot of hard work on the way. To remember is that we all are born as Muslims. But as newborn, we are not cable of making our own choices. Some of us go in directions far from Islam, and some are raised up as Muslim from birth.
But do not fear, because as I mentioned, Allah has He's ways, to make everything, and let you, by your mind, choose your way back.
Just think vas me, my life before was not choices made by me, but by my parents. As I grow up, and began to understand, then it was up to me, to find my right place in this life. Al hamdulilAllah.
No matter, how dark, everything seems to be, the light is out there, and open for anyone, who has the heart, and mind, clear for understanding the signs, the real facts, and today:
I can proudly say: how lucky I am, because I am a Muslim.